Tuesday, February 14, 2006

It was bound (ropeboy pun!) to happen

I hung out with my friend Really Gay Eddie yesterday. Really Gay Eddy is pretty much the gayest guy on the planet. He's so gay, he makes me seem like ropesGIRLSboy! So of course I was expecting to find out on his coffee table the latest issue of the gayest magazine on the planet. Of course I'm referring to International Male (although he also had the latest issue of Vanity Fair, which pleased ropeboy VERY much for the picture on page 288, so thanks to those of you who emailed with the heads-up!). Really Gay Eddy is so gay, he has every back-issue of International Male, in publication order, in LEATHER BINDERS. And in the latest one, right there on page 20, is a gorgeous model reclining thoughtfully in a western-pattern shirt that's barely buttoned over his shapely chest - and what is this item called? The DEL MAR WESTERN SHIRT!!! So gay guys everywhere can wear a little piece of the movie that one friend of mine (in fact, I think it might have been Really Gay Eddy) called 'the greatest thing since electricity.'

Wednesday, February 08, 2006

Houston, we have liftoff!

Success! Ropeboy does a little dance!

After six long months, I have at last tied up my first college boy! And amazingly, it was a CHRISTIAN!

Yep, I managed to 'pop the question' to my darling Redhead in a way that had him saying yes ... actually, more like yes, yes, YES!

It happened like this: I met up with him for the concert (which turned out to be cool) and was right away stunned slurpy by how gorgeous he looked (see picture, and no, I didn't add in the evil-looking red eyes!) ... and I was amazed even more by how touchy-feely he was during the show, bumping against me, putting his arm around me, getting all friendly, not at all like the buttoned-down face he puts on in class. I suspected that some of his friendliness was chemically enhanced, and it turned out I was right, and when I mentioned it to him towards the end of the show, he admitted it and ... um ... helped me out a little in that department. Which made that awkward moment AFTER the planned event - when you're both wondering what to say, whether or not to suggest doing anything else, all that high school crap - well, it made that moment much easier! He invited me back to his place - which, it turns out, is a cute little studio his parents pay for - very nice!

We sat around watching his 'Simpsons' DVDs for a while, sharing a bottle of wine and maybe some other chemicals, and after a while, he surprised me by sort of rubbing the back of my neck with his hand. Never let it be said that ropeboy needed more encouragement than that! I turned to him (we were both sitting on the floor, backs against his couch)(don't ask me why we weren't ON the couch) and we started totally making out - I don't know what I was expecting, but it sure as Hell wasn't that! And he knew what he was doing too, even though I bet the farm he's a newbie to doing ANYTHING. We made out heavier and heavier until finally at one point I came up for air and asked him if he wanted to do MORE. I hardly got the words out before he was tearing off my shirt and his own! It was awesome!

Once we were, um, exposed to each other (ooooh ... his body with clothes ON just didn't prepare me for his body with clothes OFF), I only had to like touch him once at random for him to explode all over himself AND me (I learned later that it was the first time anybody - boy or girl - had EVER touched him in a sexual way ... it wasn't so much premature as really, really pent up!) He got upset about this and I told him it was OK, no problem, and I was still consoling him like ten minutes later when he told me (and I could already tell, if you know what I mean) that he was ready to go again! Again, awesome! This time he lasted about half an hour, and it was hands-down the best half-hour of my life so far to date, and it was followed by an even bigger explosion (on both our parts this time), and while we were laying there panting and stuff, I got my inspiration!

So after a little while, I rolled over to look at him and said if he kept on at this pace, I was going to have to tie him up just to slow him down. And he looked at me without missing a beat and said 'Do it!' Awesome, part three!

I asked him if he had any rope in the studio (I had my own in the bottom of my backpack, but I've learned that it can creep guys out if they think your idea wasn't spontaneous), and he got up and got some - standard variety clothesline, rougher on his skin than the stuff I brought, but hey - I went with the flow!

So I tied his wrists behind his back, nothing fancy, only one simple knot although I pulled the ropes snug enough. When he flexed his arms he said something like 'that's nothing!' so I got more ropes and wrapped them a few times around his chest (I had to embrace him to do it, and that had us both ready for blastoff!), knotted that all off between his shoulder blades. He flexed against these for a few minutes, which was definitely awesome part four to watch (sometimes I think it's my favorite part), and then we went at it again, with poor little Redhead only having his mouth and legs to work with! It didn't seem to slow him down much!

This brought us to around four in the morning, and he was pretty wiped out and so was I, and he was resting on top of me and there I am trying to reach up around him to undo the ropes (because it was pretty clear that in his exhausted state he wasn't going to be getting out of them himself anytime soon), and eventually he was free and we were falling asleep.

Next morning I was woken up by the sound of my phone ringing - it was Shirley, calling to see if I was OK because I totally forgot I was supposed to call her last night. I told her I'd call her later and got her off the phone, but the sound of the ringing and the sound of my voice woke Redhead up, and just when I was expecting a little morning after, he started CRYING. Part of this was just him coming down, but a much bigger part of it was him feeling guilty and terrible and a whole bunch of other Christian bullshit about our night together. It pissed me off, but I spent the whole morning sitting next to him on the bed, trying to make him feel better.

Eventually I figured me being there wasn't helping, so I collected my things and left. As I was doing that, he was telling me he wanted to get to know me, wanted to talk later that day, and I was agreeing, but it's now three days later and I haven't heard from him. He wasn't in class today, and I wonder if he's avoiding me.

The moral of the story? Religion screws with your head!

Still, our night together marked one thing loud and clear: ropeboy has arrived! No decent set of pecs is safe!!

Thursday, February 02, 2006

all about God

I could go on about Redhead forever. He was in my English lit class today, and he was in my Mythology class last semester and if he were any HOTTER he'd have to wear asbestos undies! He's got a great body - no fat, good development, great shoulders (which are accentuated by the slightly snug button-down dress shirts he always wears), but the main attraction is his face: he's really, really handsome, but it's not a BLAND handsome - instead, it's sharp, focussed, intense, a little dangerous even. We started chatting last semester (I somehow mysteriously always ended up sitting right next to him! Imagine that!), so now we regularly find each other for our lit class, and sometimes when he's talking to me, I swear I almost start stammering, having all that pale beauty directed so seriously at me.

So today after class he asks me if I'm going see Lifehouse tonight at Avalon, and of course I blurt out 'totally!' and the rays of Heaven beam down upon me when he suggests we meet up there and go together! I'm fairly unconscious with giddiness all the way back to the dorm, when suddenly it dawns on me that Lifehouse is a Christian band, and my heart starts pounding with unwanted questions about Redhead - is he just going for the music (which, to be fair, IS insanely catchy), or is he a Jesus-freak? Is maybe the REASON why he's so serious all the time because he's a Jesus-freak? I start picturing what could happen - what if there's some kind of prayer-meeting after the show? Do I go, or do I make some lame excuse (I already prayed today, sorry)?

See, I've got some problems with God. Or not with God, who I suspect is really cool, and not even with Jesus (take a look at Mohammed or Buddha - Christians have by FAR the hottest frontman), but with Christians. They bug me not only because SO many of them are SO evil but because they're so hypocritical. I know for sure that 99.9 percent of all Christians would not want Ropeboy in their churches, would judge Ropeboy a sinner, maybe even already damned, when their own boy Jesus is right there telling them "Don't judge" - it makes me crazy, because that's where the hypocrisy comes: they judge and condemn, but for 2000 years they've been reading about bondage right there in their churches!

Just look at Samson - in Judges 16 (sorry - Bible belt, remember?), he tells Delilah that if she ties him up with brand-new bowsprings, he'll lose his superhuman strength - so she gets some brand-new bowsprings and ties him up. Keep in mind he doesn't know anything about the surprise attack she's got planned, not at that point ... so the only conclusion left is: he WANTED her to tie him up! And not just once - it's obviously a kinky little game they're used to playing.

And what about Saint Sebastian? For 2000 years, Christian artists have been painting pictures of a gorgeous young guy tied up to a tree! I'd LOVE to tie a gorgeous young guy to a tree, but because I'd ENJOY it, I'm a sinner.

Shirley (my mom) always says, "I have religious faith in three things: two martinis at lunch, punctual alimony checks, and really good weed." That's my kind of church.

So I'm worried about Redhead trying to CONVERT me, but if I don't take the chance I'll be kicking myself for the rest of the semester, so I'll go and see what happens. And if I'm going to get anything done before I leave, I better stop dicking around here and go do it!

Gene says 'Seacrest out' is really, really dumb, so I guess I have to think up a new exit-line...

Wednesday, February 01, 2006

morning chemistry

I woke up this morning dreaming about the two guys from 'Supernatural' last night (yeah, I skipped the State of the Union ... so sue me). Of course in my dreams they were both tied up, although neither one of them got tied up in last night's episode (which still managed to be pretty good). The show has a good track record, so I have reason to be hopeful. Just imagining it was more than enough to make chopping my morning wood very easy, so that's good.

Leather Jacket was in my morning chemistry class, which is also good, since he's one of my current prospects. We chat every class, before and after, and he's just grade-A perfect: handsome, really muscular, sharp without actually being smart. I'm pretty sure he's straight (if I were close enough to him so I didn't have to refer to him as 'Leather Jacket' maybe I'd know, but hey - give me time), but I could be wrong, and it doesn't mean game over anyway. The key is to start hanging out with him a little, and today's after-class chat really got us closer to that. We stood around talking about the class (I got the impression I shouldn't smoke in front of him, but that could change with hanging out too: lots of jocks smoke once they're a little drunk but poo-poo it when they're sober) and the people in it, and there was good eye-contact, and he laughed at pretty much all of my jokes. I was trying really hard to put across a 'normal' vibe, and I think I succeeded. In other words, we're becoming friends, and hey, I like having friends as much as the next person - I just like to tie up the ones who look like Leather Jacket (and he wasn't even TRYING this morning)!

I ate lunch in the dorm, and there I sat with and talked to Cute Nerd, who's very much another prospect. He's shorter than Leather Jacket (hell, he's shorter than me), and he has longer hair, brown not blond like Leather Jacket, and he has the cutest, lean, compact body. He's got beautiful eyes too, and once you pry him out of his shy-shell, he's pretty observant and funny. I'm almost positive after today's talk that Cute Nerd is gay, which would make the prospect of tying him up pretty easy: if we end up hooking up, I can just ASK him, or at least openly hint at it. Of course, I'm not a total perv: I also very much like the idea of hooking up with him for its own sake! It's been, as of today, 71 days since my geraniums have been watered, and that's not good for the economy.

I got high with Gene after lunch and pretty much wasted the rest of the day, so I've got to study now to recover lost time. Since nobody's reading this but me, I shouldn't give a rip - but I thought I'd offer my lame excuses anyway.

Seacrest out!

Monday, January 30, 2006

moving in day!

OK, so I'm yielding to MASSIVE PUBLIC OUTCRY (well, so far just my roommate Gene) and starting my own blog, even though they're SO 2005. And I'm starting off with a crappy title, since I'm not exactly a 'boy' - I'm a freshman in college (Emerson, in Bawston), almost a friggin MAN (that's me in the headlock)! But I like the sound of 'ropeboy' - and it's accurate, since I love to tie up other guys. I figure since that's the title of the friggin blog, I might as well be up-front about it right from the start. Pervy, I know, but still - I love it, loved it all through high school.

And boy, college is SO much better! In high school (a LONG way from here), I had to settle for a very small victim-pool. There was Gene, of course (he's the one with the dorky smile on the right), and there was Deepak, and twice, two wonderful, celestial times, there was superjock Mark, once because he was totally cocky, saying he could bust out of any ropes a theater-class dork like me could tie (for the record, which I guess is THIS, he didn't, and boy, it wasn't because he didn't TRY) and once because he was drunk and, I maintain, confused and horny (he had even less success that time, AND he made out with me, which is the basis of my theory - Gene says he was REALLY drunk and would have made out with a Cabbage Patch kid - either way, he claimed he didn't remember anything the next day). But that was IT. Three guys (to the limited extent that Gene even COUNTS) ... practically a starvation diet for a guy with a big, healthy imagination! I padded it out best I could with the Internet (trickier than it sounds in the middle of the Bible belt), but there's no substitute for hands-on experience.

So imagine how I feel now, in college, surrounded by guys! Gorgeous guys, artsy guys, muscular guys, stoopid guys, smart guys - guys everywhere! And in their midst, silently gliding around in the shadows among the kelp (or whatever), there's ME! I've already got four separate prospects on the hook, and one is very, very close to being reeled in! And it's only been a few months since I got here!

Anyway, this is just a first entry - there'll be lots more ropeboy adventures in the coming days! Right now, I'm going to go outside and have a cigarette (Gene's gone all Martha Stewart since we came out here ... he not only stopped smoking himself, he stopped letting me smoke around him ... and it's not like I do it all the time, geez) and then do some actual, you know, schoolwork, since Shirley (that's my mother) IS paying for all this. I'll be back tomorrow with another urgent update!

Seacrest out!